Dear Husband

Dear Future Husband!

Heeeeeey! How’s it going this Valentine’s Day? It’s our anniversary!
Yes, our anniversary. Don’t look confused—I’m talking about the number of years before we officially meet.

I hope you’re not being all romantic with some other girl. If you are… fine, have fun. But just know that somewhere, I’m screaming: I’M YOUR DESTINY! insert winky emoji here

This is the second letter I’m writing to you. The first was three years ago, where I waxed lyrical (or at least attempted to) about who you are—or, more accurately, who I hope you are. I like to think I’ve matured since then.

I mean… I did upgrade from Blogger to WordPress.
And I evolved from Boris Kodjoe to Idris Elba. Progress, right?

Anyway, moved by all the love in the air today—or maybe it’s just oxygen mixed with extra pheromones—I decided to write you this love letter. With rules. Yes, rules. Because nothing says romance like a legally binding list of dos and don’ts.

Single Awareness Day: inspiring deep reflections since forever.

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1. Doors: Don’t expect me to hold doors open for you. I know women are liberated and feminism is in full swing, but please, open some doors for me. If for nothing else, just so you can admire my posterior. That’s literally the whole point of “ladies first,” right?

2. Chores: I will not cook every day. I will not hog all the housework. We are equal partners, buddy. (P.S. I love you anyway.)

3. Dad: DO NOT—I repeat—LISTEN TO MY DAD. That man is slightly unhinged. No, really. He has screws loose.
…
Damn it, he just read this. There goes my freedom.

4. TV remote: I control it. End of story. You will learn to love what I love. Trust me—it’s AWESOME.

5. Best friend status: Do be my best friend for life. Fun, laughter, inside jokes, philosophical debates at 3 AM… all mandatory. No exceptions.

6. Gundi: For now, please keep waiting for me. Step one: find God. Step two: find me. Step three: Repeat steps one and two until perfection.

7. Flowers: Do not buy me flowers on Valentine’s Day. Too cliché. Chocolates? Ice cream? Sweet things in general? Absolutely. Flowers? No. I celebrate love every day, not just the one commercially approved day of the year.

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There are more stipulations to come—I’m still thinking them up. But for now, know this:

I have loved you even before I have met you.
Or… have I?

cue dramatic music, confetti, and a single tear

Love,
Mables 💛