Growing Pains

An Alien To The Status Quo

Dear Husband

Dear Future Husband!
Heeeeeey, how are you doing this Valentine’s day? It’s our anniversary! Of course I’m talking about the number of years before we meet.

I hope you’re not being all romantic on some girl who isn’t me. If you are, well have fun. But know that I’m screaming; I’m your destiny! *insert winky emoji here*

This is the second letter I’m writing to you. The first was a while back, three years ago to be exact. In it, I waxed lyrically (at least I hope it was lyrical) about who you are, or rather who I hope you are. I like to think I’ve matured since then, I mean I did mature from Blogger to WordPress.

Aaaaaand I matured from Boris Kodjoe to Idris Elba…..progress, right?

Today, moved by all the love I feel in the air- or is it just oxygen mixed with more pheromones than usual- I decided to write you this love letter with all the dos and don’ts I expect from you.

Nothing like Single Awareness Day to make you think about all the dos and don’ts you expect from a future spouse, amirite? (You’ll find that I’m always right. Just remember this always)

Okay let’s get to this…

1. Don’t expect me to hold doors open for you. I know women are liberated and the whole feminist movement rar rar! But please open ko some doors for me, if for nothing than to enjoy my posterior… That’s the whole point of “ladies first”, right?

2. I hope you know I’m not going to be cooking everyday or hogging all the housework. We’ll be equal partners in the marriage so that applies to chores too buddy! (P.S I love you)

3. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT LISTEN TO MY DAD! That guy is crazy….no seriously, he has a few screws loose…. Damn he just read this! There goes my freedom.

4. I wrote this in the first letter and I reiterate, I control the TV remote. You’ll learn to love what I love…because what I love is AWESOME

5. Do, be my best friend for life. That’s what I want above all else. The fun, the laughs, the talks.

6. Gundi, as for now, please keep waiting for me. Well first find God then come find me. As you know, He’s the ultimate after all.

7. Do not buy me flowers on Valentine’s day, its too cliché for my taste. I wouldn’t say no to chocolates though, or ice cream or sweet things, I have a sweet tooth. But no flowers on Valentine’s day. At all. I’d celebrate love any day I just don’t think it should be confined to Valentine’s day.

There are a lot of other stipulations that I have to think up yet. For now just know, I have loved you even before I have met you. Or Have I.*cue dramatic music*


7 thoughts on “Dear Husband

  1. I read somewhere that getting someone flowers is weird and creepy…. Its like saying… here i got you these, now watch them slowly die because I love you….
    So if i got you plastic flowers that would be cool right???? .

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