Dear future husband…
You know the song by Savage Garden? I Knew I Loved You. Where did Savage Garden disappear to? Why did they call themselves Savage Garden? I digress. I remember being baffled by the lyrics of the song the first time I heard it.
I was 9 when the song was released. Even at that age, I knew that love grows and expands when you get to know the person. What I understood of love was that it wasn’t something that happened instantaneously. I didn’t get the whole love-at-first-sight hoopla. It didn’t make sense to my little mind. I was also a studious little kid who didn’t understand fairy-tales so use that information as you will.
So back to the song, it dawned on me recently when I was walking down the lane of memory that it is actually true. I know I love you even before I meet you. I think I understand the depth of my feelings before I even feel them, does that make sense? I know that I will love you truly, madly, deeply never having felt these feelings. When it comes to love, normalcy has to be thrown out the window.
What I understand of love is that it is more than the emotions. More than the hormones and the chemicals in our brains that render us high at the thought of this love. What I understand of love is that it transcends feelings. Feelings are fleeting and are prone to change according to, well, feelings. What I understand of love is that it is hope wrapped in grace dipped in joy. I have come to the conclusion that love is a choice. A choice that we have to make daily.
As humans, we can’t help but love, because we are relation creatures, but we also need to know that we have to make the choice to be in love and love deeply. So, dear husband, know that when I say I love you, it means that every morning I wake up, I’m choosing to love you. Every day I live, I’m choosing you.
I remember when I was younger, the concept of marriage freaked me out. Living with someone who you didn’t grow up with, whose character you’re just still learning, sharing a life and responsibilities? That was scary to me because I am a creature of habit, I don’t like change very much. With age comes a certain maturity and clarity, change is not always a bad thing. And adventure can be exciting. And learning is forever. I am aware that our personalities may not always gel, but with the choice of love, I know that we will work it out.
Social media is an interesting place. It’s a melting pot of interesting ideas, connectivity, and some level of toxicity. It’s not exactly a stretch to believe that I have been interacting with you on social media.
One of the toxic ideas that I saw on social media made me more than a bit angry. This thing about socks. According to Twitter, when I buy you socks, -and I will buy you socks- it means that I don’t care for you as much. Or that I don’t value you as much. I knew why that made me angry. I love socks. I am enthusiastic about socks, It’s in my Twitter bio. I love the snugness of the socks on my feet. I love that socks keep my feet warm. I enjoy the comfort that socks bring. I own over 30 pairs of socks, and counting.
One of the things that makes me happy is buying socks. When I’ve had a long trying day, I will buy myself a pair of socks to feel better. I’m not sure when this love started, but I’m sure it started with my dad. So, when I buy you socks, I’m not just looking at the cheapest thing I can find. I am conveying to you how much I care about you by gifting you something that I want for myself. I am telling you that I love you deeply.
So, future husband, do not be hasty to listen to soso midiya and all its ideas. I will gift you socks because I love you enough to share with you something I love. With the knowledge that what’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine, when I buy you the socks, I’m really just buying me the socks too.
Be very sure that our love story will include socks.
Your Future Wife
P.S: One of the things that I was told this year was that I should leave all my letters to you in one place (Hey Sue). While I saw merit in the idea, I wondered why I should I make things easy for you. I mean, I’m already making things easy by giving you clues into who you’ll be marrying. So, go ahead and dig through my social media, go back to 2016 when I first wrote to you, find those little notes, dive into my mind. Fall more in love with me. It’s allowed. And encouraged.