This one is about fairy tales.
We all have that dream. You know that dream. Where you’re busy minding your business then someone knocks on your door and you open it to find Mr. Man holding a rose. He tells you how he’s searched all over and couldn’t find anybody for him but you and that you are the one. His soulmate. And then he hands you the rose. Anybody else have this dream? Just me?
In the way this current society is set up, would it be safe to say that the pursuit and therefore need of Mr.Right has been discarded, right? Wrong. Now more than ever, we are refusing to settle down for just anybody that our parents picked out for us. We are holding out for just more than what those that came before us wanted. We want it all.
We want the romance. We want to feel gravity pull us down into the orbit of this one human being. To have the candle lit dinners and to be treated like the Queens we are. We want it all and are not willing to compromise.
I’ll be the first to admit that I would love for a knight in shining armour to come and sweep me off my feet and carry me into the sunset. Of course, seeing as armours are no longer in style and are, honestly, a bit too clunky a knight in shining Armani will do. (Kajambo future husband)
However, while I do dream of magical happily ever after, I am a practical person and a firm believer in reality. The fairy tales that we’ve ingested from the time we are young have warped our thinking and fed us a dream that can’t possibly come true. We’ve bought the idea of ‘and they lived happily ever after’ forgetting the reality that waits for us after the last wedding guest has left and we know we have to do life with this one human.
All the fairy tales I read when I was younger had Prince charming be tall, muscular, handsome with blond hair and blue eyes. Or he was tall, dark and handsome. He was generally mr. Nice guy with a heart of gold. Oh and he was very rich, I mean duh, he was the prince, heir apparent.
The modern romance novels that have a guy who has lost his shirt have made Prince charming seem even more unrealistic. He’s usually tall, brooding, a good listener, great sexual prowess, handsome to boot and inevitably a billionaire. He is a myth.
I loved the way Prince Charming was portrayed as an entitled attention seeking weakling, obsessed with his looks in Shrek. The reality is that, Mr. Man may not be as tall as Idris Elba or have a six pack like Micheal B Jordan. Mr. Man is a normal human being with flaws and a quirky sense of humour (or at least I hope he does have that). He probably has a bit of a belly and that’s okay.
Let’s face it, the ‘princes’ we know are just spoilt rich kids who survive off of daddy’s money and influence and who have lived charmed lives.
There’s always a woman in distress who the prince invariably saves. The prince is cast in the role of saviour of this damsel in distress. He is meant to vanquish the evil, save her and then give her true love’s kiss that will save her from death. This trope is in all the fairy tale books we read as children. Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Rapanzel, even Shrek.
I once had a friend say, ‘Who the hell needs a man to rescue and save me? I can save myself, I have what it takes. I don’t need a man, I just want one.‘
A sentiment that is echoed by many. A lot of us toe the cynic’s line having been burnt by the idea of love one too many times. In my opinion, you can’t expect one human being to be your saviour. That’s what Jesus is for. This person you’re meant to do life with is a partner. So as a partner, she/he is equiped with tools to help you solve a problem that you both encounter including the saving.
‘……and they lived happily ever after, the end.‘
After the evil queen has been silenced, (because, of course, there’s always an evil queen, or an evil step mother), the prince carries our heroine into the sunset. They start their life off the pages of the books where we assume everything is unicorns and rainbows. And adorable, non-problematic.
heartbreak, troublesome in-laws, kids, bills, work, bills, work, kids, more bills eh! Happily ever….what!!!