I have been contemplating writing this letter to you for a while now and I finally got the courage.
See I have been following you on your social media for a while now. I have favourite and liked almost all your posts, they keep coming daily, these posts. You always look so perfect.. I’ve had to convince myself that you are real because perfection like yours doesn’t exist. Is it the filters? The angles? The way you stand like you have bracket legs or rickets?
I’m not a stalker, I promise. I have been told I have stalker tendencies but that does not a stalker make. I’m just a girl trying to understand you, call me curious.
I have some questions. About your posts. About you. About your life.
I want to know more about your hashtags…
There’s that one photo you always post in the morning hashtagged, #IWokeUpLikeThis. I have never understood how you always have a full face of make up on, in the morning. There’s the hint of the red lip, and the flawless eyebrow, the perfect hair. Do you go to sleep with your make up? And if so, how’s your pillow in the morning? How do you not wake up looking like a zombie? I tried to sleep with makeup on once and I woke up looking like a drowned rat and my pillow complained about how dirty I left it, in fact it ran away from my bed and found its way to the laundry basket. So, needless to say, there was no nor will there ever be an #IWokeUpLikeThis photo for me.
Then there’s the midday photo with hashtag #Eatinglunch or #Foodie with the amazing food, always. Looking like it was cooked by a chef with hundred Michelin stars and eaten from a five star restaurant…do you ever eat food that’s, for lack of better word, normal? No posho, no beans, no eboo, no kaalo?
Do you eat at all? Your body tends to say otherwise. And if you’re wondering, yes I’m very envious of your body. See I’m a big girl with folds and things that, I’m told, are called love handles. Whether I eat or I don’t, that’s my reality.
Do the thousand likes and favourites you get on a bikini selfie validate you somehow? Is your self esteem and worth tied these likes and the comments from strangers saying how beautiful you are? Are you defined by these comments or do you already know yourself?
I promise I do not ask all this with sarcasm, I seriously would love to know because, by beauty’s standards I should look up to you.
#SquadGoals, do you hang out with only beautiful people? No “ordinary” looking ones? And if so, are you sectioned off in a different part of the country who’s password is the way one looks? I do not see your kind downtown in the kafufu fighting off the over eager vendors. Come to think of it, I bet you shop from those uptown boutiques, where just breathing the air is charged. Do you ever wear “normal” clothes, worn in, with a little of bit of wear and tear? Things that are old and not on fleek? What does “On Fleek” even mean?
The photos you post, the amazing-looking food, the unbelievable places, the beautiful squad, is this your legacy? What you’ll leave behind for future generations? Will they look at you in the same moony-eyed way most boys do?
Dearest Anon. You may never get to reply this message. Or even read it. (Do you read?) but these are the questions and my mind won’t let me rest until they’re in the blogosphere, somewhere.
A Non-Slay Queen with stalker tendencies.
P.S. I’ve noticed that most of your photos are taken in a mirror, the pout, the underwear. Is this meant to show us the kind of phone you hold? Cool iPhone by the way.