I don’t want to watch Bridgerton anymore.

Dearest Gentle Reader,

Welcome to the musings of this unhinged author whose life has been turned upside down by the Bridgerton series. It behooves me to write about all the emotions that plagued me as I sat in front of a screen, watching love whose intensity I will probably never enjoy.

This Regency drama is something else.

Bridgerton exploded onto the scene when a brooding hunk of chocolate strutted onto our screens saying, “I burn for you.”Out of the mess that was 2020, Bridgerton was one of the few bright spots.

I enjoyed how much this Shonda Rhimes drama subverted expectations by giving us a romantic hero who was black and as fine as that last morsel of food to a hungry man. The Duke of Hastings had all of us in a chokehold. I personally spent a good number of weeks imagining myself in the shoes of Daphne Bridgerton or that spoon, you know the one!

Because I am a reader, I went in search of the books this Netflix series was based on. Julia Quinn’s eight books provided much relief during a particularly difficult time. I found, to my dismay, that Duke was described as a white man. To those words, I just closed my eyes. In those words, I reimagined Rege-Jean Page as the tall, dark, and mysterious Duke of Hastings.

Dear reader, let me tell you that this wasn’t particularly a hardship because that man is beautiful. It’s a universally accepted fact about this man.

While all this was a wonderful respite from the burning world, it also served to remind me just how single I am. My aloneness is never more pronounced than when I heard a man speak such words of so much beauty to another beautiful human. I want those words to be said to and of me.

Whenever I watch Bridgerton, I feel very conflicting emotions. One of these emotions is the satisfaction that comes with seeing two frustrating characters finally cope to the feelings they have for each other. Then as I cheer out loud, I look to my side and realize I have no one to cheer these characters on with. And then, I feel the weight of being single.

I yearn for that kind of partnership. Dare I say, I burn for that love. That love that knows no bounds. That love that moves the earth for their significant other. That love was sung about by Boys 2 Men. But I also understand that, realistically speaking, I will never have a man who says he will walk on glass shards to win my love or that he burns for me. But I want to, God do I want to?

In the second season, we follow Anthony Bridgerton’s story. Like in the first season, the character of Kate was played by a beautiful dark actress from South Asia. If there’s one thing that Shonda Rhimes does right, it’s representation.

Now, gentle reader, I have to confess that I was waiting for this particular story, and by God did it deliver. Anthony and Kate’s story was an enemies-to-lovers slow burn. The longing stares. The almost touches. The deep breaths when the object of desire walks into the room. THE ROMANCE, reader, the romance.

My single heart was fed and fed sufficiently but I was left decidedly bereft. I was bereft even as I enjoyed the differences between the books and the second season. Emptied out of emotion that I should feel. This is why I don’t want to watch Bridgerton anymore. In as much as I enjoy the romance, I am also aware that this is not real life. And the more I watch, the more I realise I want it to be real life…

The difference between these fictional men and real men is astounding! To quote a cliche, it’s like night and day. In ingesting stories like Bridgerton, I find that I am every day letting go of the hope that I will find someone as perfect as these men, which may not be a bad thing. But the depression, that is bad. The romantic in me tells me to hold on, my prince charming is out there. The realist in me says this prince charming that will burn for me or burn the world for me doesn’t exist and that I should probably just live and let live.

Bridgerton and stories like Bridgerton have set unrealistic expectations for me in my quest to find love. And this is why I don’t want to watch Bridgerton anymore. But also probably why I’ll be watching the second part of the third season in June 2024.

Yours truly
A wannabe Lady Whistledown