Dear Me

It’s 2023. A new year that is 12 days old. Back in the day when I subscribed to the ‘New Year New Me’ ideology, I found myself being frustrated with myself a few days into the new year. The frustration, as you might have guessed, stemmed from the fact that the same old me was still very much front and center, and the new me was a reality that was far off.

This pursuit of newness in self is brave in and of itself. The way I look at it, a person who says ‘New Year New Me’ genuinely believes that they can reinvent themselves in all the ways that matter to them. That the promise of new helps them move forward into the new year with hope. And that’s brave. Incredibly naive but brave. Naiveté would have you believing that after the earth has returned to its starting point to start another 365 day spin, that you will magically be changed.

And I was this person for the longest time. The new year spelled new ways in which I could reinvent myself, not improve myself. My resolutions read like a different person. Sort of like a rebrand.

This year, I will be different.

But the road to different is a path fraught with improvements that we don’t want to suffer. If we could teleport to different we would but where would the joy come in. Or the pain. I’m convinced that all of life is a dichotomy of pain and joy and that we know what one is because of the other. But that’s besides the point.

One year, I actually wrote, this year, I will not be shy. I expected to wake up on the 1st and magically not be shy. That, unfortunately, was not to be. I later learned that I had to work at not being shy. And I also learned that this shyness never really leaves you. I’m more confident now because I worked at it, I didn’t magically become.

In the new year, may we embrace all that we have become. All the experiences that have led us to where we are. May we embrace the old us because that’s who has brought us this far. May we use the old us to propel us to the new us that we desire.

Happy New Year.

Love

Mable.

P.S. I have someone I’m accountable to now. Someone who will bankrupt me if I don’t write. So, expect a regular posting schedule. This new year, I’m rebranding from reluctant blogger to scared-that-I-will-lose-money blogger. Join me on this journey, won’t you?

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