Dear Future Husband, Dance With Me

Dear Future Husband

I don’t know if you are reading these. I really hope you are. If you are still reading these, I’m sure you know all about me by now. These letters are tiny insights into my philosophy at the time of writing. Of course, with growth, life changes and philosophies evolve. But some things will always be true about me.

I will always have this weird thing for socks. They make my feet happy, which makes me happy. Just looking at warm feet encased in fuzzy, happy socks brings me a small smile. I also find happiness in buying and collecting socks. This, I believe, is something that won’t change, as it has been a constant for over ten years.

I will always hate flowers. Flowers, I believe, are a waste of a gift. They are organic waste anyway. These flowers are already dead, and a bloom for a few days does not a good gift make. I will always hold fast to this philosophy. I won’t, however, refuse a money or book bouquet… or even a sock bouquet, which would be a first for everything.

Speaking of books, I will always be a collector of books. Life is too short to subscribe to Marie Kondo’s philosophy of keeping only five books. I find this egregious. I find comfort in having as many books as I can around me. Right now, I am collecting Terry Pratchett’s Discworld Series, and it’s been very satisfying to thrift these books. As much as I know I’ll find comfort in you, I hope you know that you will not be enough; no one human is enough. I’ll always find comfort in books. Every room in our house will have a book. Yes, even that room.

I will always be distracted by the littlest things. I’m just now fully embracing the fact that I probably have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). I’m too forgetful, and my mind usually jumps from one thing to another, never fully completing a thought. I’ll need help with that; a butterfly will take me away mid-thought. And my forgetful self will have me leaving a door open. And when it comes to thinking about something, my mind will not rest unless it goes down a spiral. During a spiral, what usually calms my mind is music.

Music helps me focus in a way that I haven’t been able to fully explain. Maybe it’s the notes, or it’s the beats, the instruments, and the lyrics. There’s something very meditative about music that calms the spiral of the mind. And so, future husband, music has helped me cope when life becomes too difficult.

It’s hard to explain what my mind is like. It’s like five hundred people saying different things all at the same time. It’s loud in my head. There’s never been a moment of just quiet. So I find my quiet when I feed those five hundred people a piece of music they can obsess over. When it comes to music, I’m partial to the lyrics. These words speak to life the emotions I may be feeling at any given point. But I will also use a good orchestra to focus.

Dear Future Husband, when the beat comes on, there will inevitably be movement. I want to dance with you, future husband. There’s an intimacy to the act of dancing with a loved one that I want to feel with you. I want to hold your hand and dance with the uninhibited joy that can only come from dancing with a loved one.

I hope you are reading these letters, future husband. I hope you know that life with me will be interesting, if not frustrating. Some things you will have to forgive, and some deficiencies you will have to patch up with sufficiencies of your own. That’s what a partnership is. Where I fail, you succeed, and vice versa.

When It gets too loud in my head, will you sing to me? And, if we are ever in the presence of music, will you dance with me?

Love

Your Future Wife