LOVE IN THE TIME OF SOSO MIDIYA

The notification went off. A ding on the phone that caused a ding in my heart. A good morning to get my day going. He was miles away but it felt like he had just whispered the words.

Ours was a love born in the DM. He slid in there because of a word, an idea, a picture, I don’t remember which it was. With a hi, the relationship was built. He said my persona was what pulled him in. That made me smile. My online persona is the best of who I am after all. It is carefully curated to pull in followers and get the likes.

The usual interview questions were asked. He was, after-all, interviewing to get a permanent position in my heart. Tell me about yourself. What do you? Where do you see yourself in five years? What is it about me that you like? His answers were perfect and he ticked all the boxes. He was it. I was sure he was it.

I was a hopeless romantic. You Got Mail was my favorite movie. I idealized this movie. Played out the fantasy in my head. With just one ‘Hey’ I would know that this man would be the prince of my life. We would get back to the good old days of mail writing, talk about our hopes and dreams, see about our lives and then we would meet, after having built our relationship. And at that meeting, we would know that we were it for each other and we would live happily ever after.

So, as soon as I able to, I started to look for love in all the cyber places. Facebook threw me all the wonderful perverts of the world. Indian men who would send me pictures of their junk as soon as I replied to their hi. Men who promised me the world, and all their love as soon as I sent them some money. Tinder sent me men who wanted to smash as soon as we matched. Life on these digital streets as a single person was not easy.

But he, he was a revelation. They say when you diligently search for something, you will find it. And I found him. We talked about everything, my hopes, his dreams, our future. I knew him and he knew me. He sent me pictures of his smiling face, going about his day. He asked about my day and told me about his in detail. The conversation had progressed to raunchy but he was still sweet. I was looking forward to meeting him but all I had, while I waited, was the daily texts. But I knew without a doubt that he was my soulmate.

But as a fairy tales go, there was always the evil queen, or the poisoned apple, or the dragons. I’m not entirely sure what happened, but our whirlwind romance slowed down considerably. It wasn’t one day but over several days. I felt the distance between us. He wasn’t online when I needed him to be. He didn’t give me the daily boost of confidence I needed. There was no love from him anymore.

The conversation was not as detailed as I needed it to be. I kept pushing for a meet but he kept saying he couldn’t as he was busy. I thought that if we met, things would go back to the way they used to be. Or get even better. When I asked him why he wasn’t as present, he told me it was all in my head and that he still thought of me. And I was his. I believed him but it continued, the distance worsened.

I started to blame myself. Pointing the blame inward. Asked the questions, lost my peace. Was it something I did? Something I said? Had he found himself another? Why was he not texting and yet he was online? Why didn’t he like me anymore? So many questions.

A few weeks after he told me it was all in my head, I saw a photo of him with another girl. And I was vindicated, it wasn’t all in my head. And I was broken. My prince charming was kissing another Cinderella. Calling her his queen. He left my message on read. And I was all alone, vowing not to love another on these cyber streets.

DISCLAIMER: This is a purely fictional story and any relation to a real story is purely coincidence.