We live and then we die. It’s a fact we must come to accept. People die.
It doesn’t get any easier with each death. Not at all. I’ve lost my fair share of people. If I were to list them all, we’d be here for a while. I wrote letters on this blog as sort of a swan song for a couple of them. A letter to Rose and another to Alex
The shock of hearing that someone has passed on is unlike any other. There’s the scramble to find out if what you’ve heard is true. For me this manifests in trying to call the dead person, so I can disprove this bearer of bad news.
Then the inevitable sadness that proceeds that shock. Then thoughts that torment you. Thoughts of the memories you’ll never make, the laughs you’ll never hear, the fights you’ll never have and the pain left by their passing that never ends but just dulls after some time. And you’re tormented that you weren’t there for them as you should have been.
I’m a Christian and I’m well aware of the fact that they’re in a better place, away from the darkness of this world. I have to believe that. That we are more than just matter, we have a soul inside. And that their awesomeness, those that pass on, doesn’t just fade away when their physical bodies give out but is translated to heaven which I feel like is more than just this place in the sky where Angels play harps. I feel like its another realm, a parallel universe whose password to get in is the passing on of our physical bodies. All this doesn’t change the fact that death sucks. That’s it’s a robber that doesn’t give you fair warning that some thing of importance is going to be stolen from you. That even though you had the chance to say good bye, it’s never enough. Time is never enough.
This rambling post is borne out of the pain of losing a couple of people that have had a hand in shaping me, this past week.
My Great Aunt (Grandmother in Africa where things like Great Aunt do not exist) and my cousin who I grew up with.
May their souls rest in eternal peace.